Dirkus Maximus

Hey, want some stuff? Wes and I went though the house clearing stuff out and rearranging, and we’re just about done. I’m going to be selling and giving away some stuff that we’re not using to try and reduce clutter around here. For a list of the AWESOME stuff you can take home today, click on through…

First on the block is this computer. This thing is friggin awesome. You know you want it. It’s an all-original Compaq Poratable III, with a smokin’ fast Intel 286 proc, 640K of RAM (no one needs more than that, right?) and a whopping 20MB hard drive! It’s got MS-DOS 5.0 pre-installed, and as a bonus you get a copy of WORDPERFECT 5.1!  How much would you expect to pay for a beast like this? $1000? $2000? $15000, plus the harvesting rights to your left kidney? NO! Here at Crazy Dirk’s Crazy Clearance Emporium, we’re selling this superior computing platform for the unbeleiveable price of $GETTHISFUCKINGTHINGOUTOFMYHOUSE! YES, That’s right! FREE! Preceisely ZERO dollars and ZERO cents!

As you can see by the "ttyS0" label, this used to be a serial terminal for one of my Linux boxxen back in the day

Yeah, no fakey "PC-DOS" or "DR-DOS" here, it's the Real Deal.

Old-skool productivity, yo!

This system's high-powered graphics demo'd by Ashley in a riveting game of Qbasic Gorrilas

The plasma screen is missing a few lines here and there, but is still quite legible. It's not a flaw, it's "character"

Folds up neatly into a 20lb, toolbox sized package for your traveling convenience! Imagine the envious looks on people's faces when you pull THIS bad boy out of the overhead compartment on the plane!

Next up on the list of shit to get rid of Awesome Deals is a Sega Dreamcast! Includes two controllers, a VMU, a rumblepack, the RF converter, AND… get this… the original SegaNet keyboard! All that for the low, low price of $GTFOmyLivingRoom! WOOOOOO!

Ready for some Crazy Taxi or some Dreamcast Linux action!

Not enough retro gaming goodness to satiate your hunger? How about a GameCube? (No cables no controllers, completely untested) Normally I’d charge $150 for a fine peice of equipment like this, but since I like you, I’ll let it slide for NOTHING AT ALL.

It's the elite edition, you can tell because it's BLACK AS THE DARK OF NIGHT.

How about some computer components? A 250watt power supply, with 3 fans and extra Molex power harnesses and extenders for free! An IRDA module for systems with an IRDA header on the motherboard for FREE, a sweet dual 5.25/3.5 inch combo floppy drive for recovering your old copy of Commander Keen, FREEEEEE!!!

This package is worth it for the sweet 10K RPM Panaflow fan alone. Don't use it outside, the National Weather Service may have to have a word with you.

 

INFRARED SERIAL COMMUNICATIONS UP IN THE HIZZY, MOTHAFARKER!

Back in my day, floppy disks were called floppies because they WERE! You wippersnappers and your fancy UBS fingerdrives and whatnot...

Includes a card-edge connector as part of the True Nostalgia (TM) upgrade package.

Not enough awesome computer parts to satiate your undying hunger for PC hardware? How about a printer? Yes, yes, I know… it’s manufactured by that “other” company. Remember, they still have to pay for copyrights from Canon though, so you’re still supporting the home team! I’ll let you have it for $300, minus a $300 instant rebate… that’s right, FREE!

 

With power supply and ink included! WOW!

But wait, there’s MORE! How about this awesome pool cue? You know you can run the table with a fine piece of equipment like this. You should also know that you can’t get a FREE cue like this anywhere but here.

 

Only this case is strong enough to contain this much awesome and only the Compaq Portable III is strong enough to hold it up.

Shortly after this picture was taken, the furniture you see in this picture was reduced to splinters under the weight of sheer awesome this cue carries.

How about some real power? Do you love the smell of nitromethane fuel in the morning? Do you enjoy the piercing scream of 2.5cc’s of fury ripping through the sky? Do you want to take this engine off my hands for FREE?!?!

 

Comes with a Master Airscrew prop!

2.5cc's of nitro-sucking powerhouse. This makes like... 3 times the horsepower of my car.

Just an engine not good enough for you? How about a HELICOPTER?! Yeah, I got crazy a while back with a tax return and decided to switch from fixed-wing RC’s to a whirlybird. This transition did not go well for me. What we have here is an e-flite Blade CP (first gen) kit with the hop-up main motor, thermal-greased heatsinks on the main and tail motors, transmitter, stock head, all electronics and servos (still good) and training legs. There’s no canopy, no battery no main blades, the tail rotor blades need replacement, and the main frame is a bit fudged up. Originally, the kit cost $220. I’ll let this go for $20. Heck, looking at this as just a parts purchase, you’re getting at least $60 worth of parts. And trust me, you’ll need parts if you’re trying to learn to fly a heli. I’ll even throw in a modified EOS neck strap for the transmitter.

 

Free copy of FMS flying model simulator with purchase... I suggest you use it daily for a month before picking up the controller.

Last, but not least, how about a 25″ TV set? This RCA has been good, but it’s just too bulky for our small living room. No remote, but it’s standard enough to be controlled by just about any universal remote you buy. Remember, old analog TV’s aren’t going out of style until June now, and the government just got those converter coupons flowing again!

 

Children's finger prints optionaly included for no extra charge.

I *think* it's 25 inch, it's frakking huge anyhow. Here's the model number. Google is your friend.

If you want to have any of this awesome stuff for yourself, claim it in the comments below. Everything here is Free or Best Offer (except for the Helicopter, it’s $20 OBO). If someone else steps up to take something for free, you can buy it out from under them for a nickel! Move fast though, I guarantee that Compaq Portable will be at the center of a fierce bidding war!

Also, for those of you at Canon, I’ll be bringing in some books for the new bookswap basket in building 840. Included will be “Teach yourself PERL in 21 days”, Teach Yourself C++ in 21 days (Special yo-ho-ho binder edition)” , “Teach Yourself C”, “Linux Server Hacks”, and “Cryptonomicon”. If you want any of these, I’ll be dropping them off in a basket in Mos Eisley Cantina on Monday morning.